Mission Statement: What this site is not.

Recently I had a chance to get away from Tokyo and the eternal Japanese company obligations (and guilt for leaving) for the first time in nearly four years, and managed to get myself to a place where neither the internet, my boss nor colleagues could reach me with any certainty. I was able to escape that high speed and stressful Tokyo life for a few brief days and take a long deep look at myself, my life, and where I was heading.

In less than the time it took to breathe in some overly oxygenated breaths, I was able to admit that my life as it is in Tokyo, while on the surface contains all the trappings of success that a foreigner working here could hope for, is not looking good, and that balance in any shape or form has eluded me in increasing degrees over the last four years. I have reached the point where I recognize that if I continue in such a lifestyle, I will be doing myself enormous psychological and physical damage. The most shocking realization is that as a foreigner in Japan, I am far from being alone.

Superficially, I am well on my way to integrating with the core of Japanese business society. I have worked with the Japanese long enough (going on four years now, two major companies and one minor plus a year at university) and studied them deeply enough to find that much of the supposed mysteries that are written about them are indeed merely skin deep. Buried deep inside those highly polished and well trained tatemae exteriors, the Japanese as individuals are probably just as confused and dissatisfied with life in Japan (if not more so) as the average foreigner.

That being said, as for my position at the current company, I am painfully aware that most of what I say at the company in relation to the real global economic world outside of Japan is ignored, and that I am mocked for being something less than the average Japanese. In short, in the eyes of my colleagues I must be another 'want to-be Japanese' Gaijin who in fact will never ever be accepted inside their society ( or the company) as a cultural equal.

This sits in stark contrast to your average Japanese salary man who manifests at work obediently each day, superficially agrees with everything that his boss dictates, and subverts his entire being and the health of his family life for a company that more often than not thinks no further than this month's sales figures and fritters away countless opportunities to grow stronger in the global marketplace. This in most part lies in a nostalgic but powerful societal and cultural attachment to the success of the boom period now near twenty years past.

Back in the real world, the powerhouses of China, Korea and the burgeoning European community of states remodel themselves economically to adjust to the global market place, and power past Japan.

But I digress...lets get back to life in Japan, and just trying to get ahead.

I am sure that many of you that read this and live in Japan as I do are all trying to crack that magical nut: to be respected as a peer and equal in a society which, like the rest of the world, is forced to open its doors to the outside world barging its way in. But the sad fact is this: the Japanese people themselves are living in a world of their own construct where their own deeper wants and needs are not being met both as a society and as individuals, and to be respected as a peer and equal means to keep quiet that voice on individual reason, to 'suck it up' and go through the motions with your company 'team' until the referee blows the whistle at full time only to tell you that, well, your team has lost.

And the rest of the world moves on… So now, you are probably asking yourself-but how does that help those of us that like living here and want to leave our mark?

I am one of those people too.

A question for you to ponder: how does your average foreigner living in Japan contribute to this society in a positive way, lead a balanced life where free time is respected and shared with our Japanese colleagues, has time to enjoy the quality of their own lives both at work and at play, and help in their own direct or indirect way the Japanese society as a whole grow stronger, through understanding and cooperation with the world around them?

Now that’s a good one... if you need an answer, read on.

Now don't get me wrong: there is much to love and appreciate in Japan still existing, the ofuro bath, a trip to Hakone, to visit some 200 year old Buddhist temple in Kyoto or take a mountain retreat high up on Koyasan. The ironic fact is that many of these so typically Japanese cultural elements at this point and time are mysteries to the Japanese themselves. I mean, honestly- who can enjoy being crammed into a hot and sweaty commuter train with a bunch of other strangers, only to be pushed, shoved, groped and generally made to feel as uncomfortable as possible until one is vomited out an exit door at the appropriate stop (and sometimes not, much to your chagrin). Go visit a Japanese temple, and you will find it more of a museum than a place of worship, and a foreigner wishing to go inside, look around and/or meditate would be greeted with the response of 'Meditate? What ever for?' It is a place to take photos, then hurry to catch the next whirlwind fast tour bus, not contemplate the life that you lead and the fortune/ misfortune that you have in your lives.

For the heart of the matter is this: we are all a part of a magical dance, but what is the tune that is playing? And what are the steps that are necessary to live and thrive as human beings?

Catch a train during commuting time and you can see that the frustrations that exist in your own life here in Japan extend to the country as a whole. Where one outside of Japan would be surrounded with the sound of multiple conversations mixing and merging through your average commute around the world, in Japan you are greeted with mostly stony silence or studied ignoring of all humanity around you, perhaps the frantic mutterings of some overly stressed businessman who is well on his way to a breakdown or the sounds of gentle snoring multitude seemingly deep in sleep at all hours of the day of this seemingly robust yet fragile economy.

How can we foreigners be here, contribute and thrive?

The once powerhouse of Asia now looks spent- its no wonder they have a falling birthrate, these people are probably too exhausted to do anything more than eat, watch a little variety show full of people who almost always seem to be either laughing hysterically at very little or agreeing with each other about near everything.

Lets face it- I am turning into a cynic, but when I look around at the other foreigners that have been here longer than a stint at Nova or some other pop-candy English school, I can see that I am not alone in this dilemma.

This society is indeed a reflection of our own inner state. Are you satisfied with all this, or do you want something more?

Walk down the street in Roppongi and try to catch the eye of another foreigner: you will instantly be able to tell whether they are fresh off the boat or a long time survivor. If it’s the first, they will have a look of awestruck wonder, some overly wide smile emblazoned naively across their face in the hope that Japan will reach out and embrace them like one of their own. If it’s the second, they will probably ignore you, their gruff 'day face' telling you succinctly to keep your distance and leave them alone in their misery or latent frustrations.

As one survivor put it- Tokyo changes everyone- not just a foreigner here for a few years, but the Japanese too who move here from the country or other regions.

I for one- refuse to give in and become like the insensitive robots that surround me most of the day. There must be a way I can learn to turn this situation into one that is of benefit for both me and all of those around me.

But how?

So to start with, I will set the parameters of what this site may be able to offer you by starting with what it does not.

• If you are looking for a new bar, or a place to find other foreigners to party with in Tokyo, or info on how to pick up young Japanese, then this site is not for you.
• If you are looking for a place to rail about the Japanese and not acknowledge that the world that you live in is indeed a reflection of your own inner state, then this site is not for you.
• If you are willing to continue fooling yourself that somehow the Japanese accept you as an equal, and that one day, through continued Japanese language study and the highest language certification you will somehow be accepted, then this site is not for you.

So, what will this site offer you?

• If you are looking for a place to share your own experiences and frustrations, with a willingness to learn from the experience and grow wiser and stronger from it all, then welcome.
• If you are looking for a place to generate and nurture a desire to make the best of it, and start finding a better balance in your life that states to the Japanese world around you that as foreigners and more importantly as human beings we have something to offer Japanese society much more than just free English lessons and hamburgers, this site is for you.
• If you refuse to give in to desire to shut down your foreign self and attempt to behave like the Japanese do, then this site may have some answers regarding how to do it and still function in their society as best you can.
• If you wish to comment, and even contribute a story of two of your own experiences and the lessons that you have learned here in this land of the rising sun, then this forum is for you.

There is a way to find peace and balance while living here in this super fast world, and I for one refuse to give in to the almost irrepressible desire to become as shut down emotionally and physically as the society that surround me.

There is a holistic balance to be found. Let’s find it together.

So, how to do it? But enough for today.

For those of you who fight the fight each day- never give up.

Peace,

Marcus.